BUSH OUTSOURCES ELECTION TO INDIA
Approval Rating in Bangalore Tops 98%Citing "significant cost savings," President George W. Bush today outsourced the fall election to a call center in Bangalore, India.
Mr. Bush said that by having all voting and vote-counting take place in Bangalore, the U.S. will save up to $3 billion, which could be used to finance democracy in Iraq.
After votes are tallied, the president said, customer service representatives at the Bangalore call center will notify the American people of the results and also offer them technical assistance for their notebook computers and wireless devices.
Additionally, the winner of the fall election will make his acceptance speech simply by pressing "1" on his phone, while the loser will concede by pressing "2." But moments after Mr. Bush outsourced the election, Democratic presidential nominee John Kerry blasted the decision, arguing that it would be impossible for a fair election to be held in Bangalore since Mr. Bush's approval rating in that city currently stands at 98%. Mr. Bush's popularity in Bangalore has soared steadily since taking office as a result of the 9.8 million jobs he has created there.
At one of Bangalore's largest call centers, where customer service representatives are undergoing a six-week training program to "sound American," worker Rajenda Jamal offered a typical view: "George W. Bush rules, much like the popular singer Christina Aguilera, who also rules." Mr. Jamal's opinion of Sen. Kerry, however, was less charitable: "John Kerry does not rule at all -- to the contrary, he sucks. Dude."
Elsewhere, Homeland Security Secretary Tom Ridge revealed today that he was "a metrosexual American," adding, "Orange is the new yellow."
Douglas A. Weiss
Sr. VP System & Station Development
Corporation For Public Broadcasting
401 9th St. NW
Washington, DC 20004-2129
202.879.9673
Fax: 202.879.9677
Cell: 202.262.8478
Douglas A. Weiss
Sr. VP System & Station Development
Corporation For Public Broadcasting
401 9th St. NW
Washington, DC 20004-2129
202.879.9673
Fax: 202.879.9677
Cell: 202.262.8478
3 comments:
='Brand New News From The Timber Industry!!'=
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Deltic Timber Corp. currently trades at over $38.00 a share with about $153 Million in revenues.
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All statements made are our express opinion only and should be treated as such.
We may own, take position and sell any securities mentioned at any time. Any statements that express or involve discussions with respect
to predictions, goals, expectations, beliefs, plans, projections, objectives, assumptions or future events or performance are
not statements of historical fact and may be "forward, looking
statements." forward, looking statements are based on expectations, estimates
and projections at the time the statements are made that involve a number of risks and uncertainties which could cause actual results
or events to differ materially from those presently anticipated. This newsletter was paid $3,000 from third party (IR Marketing).
Forward,|ooking statements in this action may be identified through the use of words such as: "projects", "foresee", "expects". in compliance with Se'ction 17. {b), we disclose the holding of EGTY shares prior to the publication of this report. Be aware of an inherent conflict of interest resulting from such holdings due to our intent to profit from the liquidation of these shares. Shares may be sold at any time, even after positive statements have been made regarding the above company. Since we own shares, there is an inherent conflict of interest in our statements and opinions. Readers of this publication are cautioned not to place undue reliance on forward,looking statements, which are based on certain assumptions and expectations involving various risks and uncertainties that could cause results to
differ materially from those set forth in the forward- looking statements. This is not solicitation to buy or sell stocks, this text is
or informational purpose only and you should seek professional advice from registered financial advisor before you do anything related with buying or selling stocks, penny stocks are very high risk and you can lose your entire investment.
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